


Slime

by dreamcatcher_kinks



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, Slime, Waxing, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29517402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcatcher_kinks/pseuds/dreamcatcher_kinks
Summary: Accidental waxing.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Slime

**Author's Note:**

> Just read the JaskierWombForLease-or-Fucking that was so much fun!! I bet Jaskier's response from being told he had to wax everything would have been hilarious!! Strikes me as the kind of character who sees their hairsuite-ness as like a sign of virility! Now I want more Jaskier forced hair removal, like what if some kind of sticky monster goop gets flung all along his front and the only solution is to go hairless?? Thanks for sharing!!

Jaskier had climbed up onto a branch to watch the fight. It wasn’t the safest place in the swamp, but he had been in worse situations, or at least that’s what Geralt thought.

The monster was unlike anything Geralt had ever fought before. It was a sickly pink colour, and also transparent. It had managed to fester away in the swampy area, filling the larger pools of water with sticky goop which Geralt guessed was how it multiplied, he could only hope the goop was flammable, how else was he to get rid of it?

Geralt forced the monster back with aard, slamming it into jaskier’s tree. He heard a faint ‘whoosh’ before he sliced the slime monster up with his sword, blasting aard on the remains and watching them melt away into nothing.

“Ah-uh… Geralt!?” He heard Jaskier shout. Geralt looked up at the branch but was left confused when the bard wasn’t there. He looked down at the small pool of goop below it and found Jaskier, floating in sticky, pink slime up to his neck.

The witcher cursed before making his way over. The slime must have been too thick for Jaskier to sink completely but the momentum of the fall had forced most of his body into the pool.

Geralt rolled up the sleeves of his black chemise before plunging his hands in and getting a grip under jaskier’s shoulders, pulling the poor bard out of the slime pool and dragging him onto the mucky ground.

“Fuck sake! These clothes were new!” Jaskier cried, his eyes were shut as he lay on the ground just reeling from the sticky events.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have worn them for a hunt,” Geralt told him as he shook the slime from his hands.

The slime wasn’t coming off, in fact, it had turned rock hard now in the open air instead of the warm pool. Geralt managed to lift the edge of the slime and pull it off, grunting when it removed the hair from the back of his hand. Oh no.

He cast a glance at his hairy companion, noticing now the stiffness of his clothes where it moved with his breaths. The slime had likely found its way into interesting crevices on the bard’s body too…  _ hairy _ crevices.

This was going to be a long night.

  
  
  


“Geralt just pull it, I can handle it!” Jaskier said. Geralt took a deep breath, bracing himself before he pulled the second trouser leg away from jaskier’s thigh, removing every single hair from his skin.

Jaskier screamed out, his knees reflexively bending from the pain. He took a few sharp breaths before moving.

Geralt had cut his clothes into sections where they were glued to his body, it made it easier for removal. They had managed now, both his legs, his cock (Jaskier made Geralt promise to never tell anyone that he wept through it), and both his arms and back, as well as his feet. They only had his ass and his chest to go, both rather hairy places.

The bard had taken a moment before starting the process to mourn the loss of his infamous hairy self. Never had he ever even thought of removing any of the hair on his body, other than his face. The women loved it! It was a fucking hit and now he was going to look like a gods-damned baby...

Jaskier moved onto his arms and knees, giving Geralt an easier position to rip off the clothes.

“You want me to count down?” Geralt asked him. Jaskier slowly nodded, taking shaky breaths in a futile attempt to calm himself.

“Three”

“Two-”

“Gaaaahh-aaahhhh!!” Jaskier screamed as his asshole was ripped free of it's hair, both hands flew up instinctively to soothe the burn. He fell onto his side, sobbing as his cool hands lessened the pain. He was distantly aware of Geralt rolling him onto his back, preparing him for the last piece of clothing.

What he was most certainly not prepared for was for Geralt to just rip it off like that, without any warning. Jaskier’s screams were renewed and Geralt placed both his hands on Jaskier's reddened chest, trying to cool down the pain much like Jaskier was doing with his own ass.

He openly wept in front of Geralt, silently promising him revenge in his sleep.


End file.
